When we begin to concern ourselves with Buddhism, we soon notice that even in word-usage Buddhism deals with feelings differently than we are used to. Up until now we may have thought that emotions were an important part of our life; that for instance Life would be too boring without attachments, and without pride there would be no self-esteem, and without jealousy we wouldn't be able to keep our relations and our family together, without anger we would be "short changed" (**t.n.), and without indifference we would be swept away by the flood of information and the sufferings of the world.

In Buddhism our emotions are called "suffering-causing mind states", "disturbing feelings", or "mind poisons". The only feelings aimed for are the feelings which arise through direct perception of the "Nature of the Mind" and the "Nature of Phenomena": Such as Fearlessness which arises, when we realize that our mind - which is the basis for our "ego-feeling" and our whole experience - is no thing, and therefore will not die and thus can not be touched nor damaged.

Absolute joy arises, when one realizes, that all inner and outer phenomena are the free playings of this non-existing mind. They are like the magic plays of a magician, fantastic - just because they happen.

If this limitlessness of the mind is recognized, and that the experiencer, the experienced, and the experience are inseparable, undifferentiating Love arises. One can no longer separate oneself from others.

If we look closely at what these other feelings do to us, it soon becomes clear, that they bring far more disadvantages than benefits, if we live them out: If we try to experience joy through attachment, we will soon see, that we are only always running after the apparent outer world and that everything, which promises joy, will dissolve in space, or even at the end still only leaves problems, and our inner peace becomes a casualty on the way.

The self-esteem, that we want to find through pride, is only a short-lived happiness. Actually, with Pride we are constantly chilled and therefore cannot really experience anything. Pride is the shield, so that nobody discovers our Inferiority-feelings and so it becomes our prison.

Envy and Jealousy are not any better: In our state of inner poverty we do not grant others the happiness which we'd like for ourselves. Everything is shrinking, which no relation, friendship or community can stand in the long run.

Anger is of course the strongest robber of good impressions in our consciousness-store. With anger the sharpest differentiation between experiencer and experience is made, so that the feelings of one-ness, Love, and fearlessness appear less and less frequently, and more fear arises of the world, from which one has thus cut oneself off.

And neither is indifference any means of attaining peace of mind, for if one doesn't look, one can't learn anything, will never get rid of the fixed ideas, and makes many errors.

In Buddhism it is explained like this: The basis of all inner and outer phenomena is the basic Ignorance, the not realizing that our true nature is like the wide open limitless space, free from a perception of an "I", and that all that we experience externally or internally, is showing us the free play of this space. We have succumbed to this Ignorance for an unfathomable time, which has led to our clinging to the perception of an "I" and believing in a real existing world, and has created the thinking-habit of putting all that is experienced into the mind-drawers of differentiation and terminology.

Then the "I" begins to judge these self-created phenomena, to like some things and others not, and being indifferent towards yet others. From the liking arise the wish to possess the object to keep it and secure it for oneself. From this then arise Desire and Attachment.

If others get what we would like, then Envy and Jealousy arise.

From the not liking arises the wish to banish the objects of resentment from one's perception-sphere, although this mostly doesn't work. Then Resentment, Anger and Hate arise.

From indifference arises the feeling of being something better than others are, therefore Pride arises. So the central attack point of working with these mind poisons is the basic Ignorance, this clinging to a dualistic viewpoint. If this is conquered then the mind poisons are not only gone, but instead appear as facets of the different Buddha-wisdoms and reveal their inherent qualities. In order to conquer the basic Ignorance, the study of the correct viewpoint is necessary and also the practice of the construction and fusion phases of the Diamondway-meditation. So the goal is not to push away these disturbing emotions, to deny or hide them, but far more to work with them. Therefore one must first see which mind-poisons - conscious or unconscious - are actually there: If we feel that Life is slipping through our fingers, without ever having held anything lastingly satisfying in their hands, then that is Attachment.

Or we have the feeling of always being surrounded by intrigue, and that there is always something going on behind our backs and without us, then there is still Envy and Jealousy in the mind.

When we feel that humanity doesn't wish us well, and if we find it hard to rely on anyone, then there is certainly Anger in the mind somewhere.

If incompetents, outsiders and beginners constantly surround us, it may be time to start thinking about Pride.

If Life is boring and gray, the reason is Indifference.

How can we handle our mind poisons?

In order to work with these mind poisons, we must first understand when they appear in our mind and take possession of us. For this we must train our awareness, for instance through meditation, like the concentrating on the airflow at the tip of the nose, or in the construction phase of the Diamond-meditation, where we simply let all thought and feelings flow away without evaluating them. Thereby we become more aware even in every-day situations, we see when thoughts arise and turn into mind poisons, and we are able to work with them, before they get out of control. And don't worry if the mind poisons appear to have grown, it only seems that way! Through awareness one really notices, what really haunts our mind.

This is what it looks like then: If Desire or Attachment arise in the mind and we don't want to live it through, then we can think about the impermanence, the complexities or the drawbacks of the object of desire. This may not sound very popular, but it is the emergency brake in order not to be hauled around at the nose by our own attachment. When we do want to enjoy the object of our desire, we wish that all beings may also experience something just as nice and offer everything to our Teacher or to the Buddha. Or we give away that which we'd mostly like to keep, if not in reality then at least in our mind, like at the Mandala-offering. This creates inner wealth. For actually there is no objection to enjoying the beauty of the world - the problem is only the dualistic perception-habit.

There is a quality at the root of Desire, namely the ability to produce something wonderful out of the chaotic jumble of minute not really existing particles. If we succeed in utilizing this quality on our whole realm of experience, then that is already the Pure Land. All is fantastic, simply because it happens.

Envy and Jealousy arise in the mind out of inner poverty, one simply cannot bear that others are happy without one. In order to fill out this poverty, we must collect quite many good impressions in the mind. That is best accomplished through Good Wishes, one wishes all happiness in the world for everyone. Anytime when one would usually become envious or jealous, one makes really strong wishes. As the mind grows richer and more generous, the quality behind Jealousy shows itself in the ability of knowing what makes others happy. That is Wisdom of Experience and Buddha-activity.

With Anger one really gets into a vicious circle. Enemy-pictures arise in the mind out of old negative impressions, and when one acts on the basis of these enemy-pictures, new negative impressions arise, which in turn give rise to yet other new enemy-pictures. To get out of this rut there are two options: Either one tries to clean out the negative impressions from the memory-mind, for instance through meditation on the "Diamond-mind" Buddha.

Or one makes friends with the world anew, through the cultivation of Love and Compassion, and the understanding that the outer world only seems to exist. Love is after all the best means of dissolving the dualistic perception, and which hopefully we have all experienced when we were really in love. We just need to train our minds to the point where this love expands to each and everyone. A time-consuming job most likely, but a rewarding one, for already on the way there, the wisdom hidden behind the Anger appears. It is the ability to see everything clearly like in a mirror.

Pride is the ability to highlight qualities -- regrettably until now only one's own.

Pride is perhaps the most stubborn mind poison, because one is too proud to admit to having any. It also lends itself easily as substitute for the other mind poisons, when we for instance cool our Anger down somewhat by creating distance. If we want to work with our pride, it might do us well to remember that we are not as perfect as we'd like to be, but it is even better when we try to see qualities in others. This is not just mere positive thinking, but we know, that all beings have the Buddha-nature, and therefore all of them quite naturally show some qualities. Pride has the quality of being able to highlight qualities, although till now only one's own. The reason that we only with great difficulty are able to see the qualities of others, is that we take everything so personal, that everything has to do with our own Ego. The practice when working with Pride then is the concentrating on the Buddha-nature and the qualities of others, and always thinking "we", of course supported by the practice of prostrations. Then the wisdom of equality appears and one is surrounded by Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, always in the best of company. What could be more beautiful?

With Indifference and Stupidity of the mind what helps is a better understanding of the inner and outer workings of the world, that gives one a proper view-point and a powerful motivation to work constructively with every situation. It begins with the Study of Dharma, but doesn't lead to a "learned title", but leads instead to compassionate action. A true viewpoint doesn't have to be a complicated one. It is said that Enlightenment is actually too simple, so that our complicated-working minds will not be able to comprehend it at all. Here the quality appears that hide behind the Stupidity, the satisfaction with simple truths and viewpoints. This being at ease with oneself then leads to Intuition, to the understanding beyond the intellect, which in the end is the key to Enlightenment.

When we work with the mind-poisons in this way, they become steps on the way. When we no longer take them seriously, they being what they are, the dormant facets of enlightened wisdom slowly appear and it becomes a joy to walk the Way.

Author: Gerd Boll is 38 years old, his occupation being a farmer. He lives in the Buddhist Center in Holzbunge, and is since 1988 in the Dharma and a pupil of Lama Ole Nydahl. He studies in Dhagpo Kagyü Ling in the Summer-school of Buddhist Philosophy and is active as a Dharma-teacher since 1992.

From Kagyü Life Nr. 25, 10. Vol (April 1998)

** Translator's note: I have substituted one German idiom with an American idiom.

"Untergebuttert" ==> "short-changed".

The actual inner meaning is: cheated out of something to which one was entitled.

LodröSangpo